that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
