I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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