And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
