census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
