you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
