I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
