6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
