Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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