Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
