Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
