??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
