there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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