btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
