Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
