My nipple is on Facebook.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
