You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
