He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
