if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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