its not stalking. its research.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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