Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
