i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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