you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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