there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
