And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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