There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize