dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
