i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
