I cannot find my penis.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
