he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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