I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
