Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize