He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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