I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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