don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
