I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
