between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
