I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
