...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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