you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
