went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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