Banned from zoo.
Again?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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