Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
