Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't turn off my feet"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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