his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
