I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
