I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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