god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize