I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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