I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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