Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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