somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
