happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
