I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
