I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
