If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
