think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
