my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize