You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There was a lot of him and a little penis
sarcasm needs its own font
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
