why didn't you poke me back
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
