he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
