Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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