Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
